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ARIA Awards

with 4 comments

You all know what they’re about, so here’s my take on the little Grammy’s that could… I’m only doing the catagories I care about, or have ammunition on…
Ok kiddies – listen up! Mr. T here. I’m gonna give my veiws on the shiny obelisks too… 

Album of the Year:
Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunnipingu – Gurrumul
Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson – Rattlin’ Bones
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Dig Lazarus, Dig
The Living End – White Noise
The Presets – Apocalypso

Who will win: Yunnipingu. The Presets

Who should win: Nick Cave. He is God, and the ARIA’s owe him for somehow managing to incorrectly pronounce ‘Grinderman’ in his hall of fame video package last year. Seriously. 
Does anyone think Nick Cave cares if he wins or not? I think the industry is more likely to give the award to someone who buys into the whole spectacle. That being said, The husband and wife duo behind Rattlin’ Bones have made a pretty good album that transcends Country, Alternative and Mainstream genres, and I reckon should get up.

Best Comedy Release:
Akmal – Akmal Live and Uncensored
Matt Tilley – Gotcha Calls Three’s a Crowd
Merrick & Rosso – Live and Totally Wrong!
Shaun Micallef -The Expurgated Micallef Tonight: The Very Best of Shaun Micallef’s Short-Lived but Brilliant Tonight
The Umbilical Brothers – Don’t Explain

Who will win: No idea. Less Idea

Who should win: Micallef. 
Micallef is a genius, but I dont think everyone gets his humour, which means Merrick & Rosso probably will win.

Best Dance Album:
Cut Copy – In Ghost Colours
Mobin Master – Show Me Love
PNAU – Pnau
The Potbelleez – Don’t Hold Back
The Presets – Apocalypso

Who will win: The Presets. The Presets

Who should win: Cut Copy, possibly PNAU. Maybe even Presets. If Potbelleez win, I won’t be suprised, but I will be homicidal for a day or two.
PNAU have the support of Sir Elton, I dont think the ARIA gang has any reason not to agree.

Best Female Artist:
Clare Bowditch
Gabriella Cilmi
Holly Throsby
Kylie Minogue
Missy Higgins

Who will win: Cilmi. Kylie.

Who should win: Kylie. 20 years of service to the UK, and she’ll lose to an upstart with no acting career, not as hot (and 20 years younger), and has only given one year of service to the UK. 
I havent actually heard Gab Cilmi save from those annoying ring-tone ads, but Clare Bowditch should win in my opinion.

Best Group:
Angus and Julia Stone
Silverchair
Faker
The Presets
The Living End

Who will win: The Presets. The Living End.

Who should win: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. What? They’re not nominated for this? FUCKWITS! Why did Silverchair get nominated. You may as well put in Midnight Oil in the group too since Peter Garrett is more relevant that Daniel Johns at the moment.
Have the Living End won this before? Maybe they have enough (collective) runs on the board to get them over the line on this one. Why are Silverchair on the list indeed?! Why does anyone listen to Faker?!

Best Independent Release:
Ben Lee – Ripe
British India – Thieves
Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunnipingu – Gurrumul
Lior – Corner of an Endless Road
Midnight Juggernauts – Dystopia

Who will win: Yunnipingu. The Juggernauts Bitch.

Who should win: Yunnipingu.
Maybe Yunnipingu, maybe Lior.

Best Male Artist:
Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunnipingu
Nick Cave
Paul Kelly
Pete Murray
Sam Sparro

Who will win: Sam Sparro. Nick Cave

Who should win: Nick Cave. Nick Cave

Best Music DVD:
Hilltop Hoods – City of Light
Paul Kelly – Stolen Apples
Powderfinger/Silverchair – Across The Great Divide
John Butler Trio – Live at Federation Square
Wolfmother – Please Experience Wolfmother

Who will win: Powderchair. Silverfinger.

Who should win: Who cares? I can’t imagine any of these acts would be worthy of a DVD release. See Nine Inch Nails’ current live setup and get back to me.
How is this a category? When is there gonna be a music award for best youtube miming into a hairbrush?

Best Pop Release:
Gabriella Cilmi – Lessons To Be Learned
Kylie Minogue – X
Operator Please – Yes Yes Vindictive
Sam Sparro – Black and Gold
The Veronicas – Hook Me Up

Who will win: Cilmi. Kylie.

Who should win: Kylie. Been over this before.
Cilmi – too early in her career. Operator Please – had thier go last year. Sam Sparro – One hit wonder. Veronicas – too controversial at the moment.

Best Rock Album:
Eddy Current Suppression Ring – Primary Colours
Faker – Be The Twighlight
Gyroscope – Breed Obsession
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Dig Lazarus, Dig
The Living End – White Noise

Who will win: The Living End. The Living End.

Who should win: Uh, Faker? DIE! Nick Cave, although ECSP would be FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!
Maybe Gyroscope (please dont throw stuff at me!)

Best Urban Release:
A-Love – Ace of Hearts
Bliss ‘n’ Eso – Flying Colours
Kayalyst – What’s Happening?
Muph & Plutonic – …and Then Tomorrow Came
Spit Syndicate – Towards The Light
The Herd – Summerland

Who will win: White middle class kids wearing Ecko/DC. Bliss ‘n’ Eso

Who should win: Someone else.
Will all the nominees wear their ‘formal’ hoodies to the awards? Maybe Bliss ‘n’ Eso

Breakthrough Artist – Album
Angus and Julia Stone – A Book Like This
Gabriella Cilmi – Lessons To Be Learned
Midnight Juggernauts – Dystopia
Operator Please – Yes Yes Vindictive
Sam Sparro – Sam Sparro

Who will win: Cilmi. A&J Stone – its an outside bet, but I think it will happen.

Who should win: Juggernauts. Made it in Australia (with that crazy ‘talent’ thing) and went international, rather than the other way around.
I thought Operator Please ‘brokethough’ last year? Maybe the Juggys though.

Breakthrough Artist – Single Which Piece of Shit is Better Than The Rest
Angus and Julia Stone – The Beast
Gabriella Cilmi – Sweet About Me
Sam Sparro – Black and Gold
The Panics – Don’t Fight It
The Potbelleez – Don’t Hold Back

Titles sums it up.
The Panics should – Gab Cilmi will.

Single Of The Year
Faker – This Heart Attack
Gabriella Cilmi – Sweet About Me
Sam Sparro – Black and Gold
The Living End – White Noise
The Presets – My People

Who will win: Cilmi. The Living End, White Noise has had commercial and ‘alternative’ success.

Who should win: Cilmi. Black and Gold is terrible, White Noise is quite an interesting reflection upon itself, and the other two are from 2007. Two greatest words in the English language: De Fault.
The Presets.

Highest Selling Single
Delta Goodrem – In This Life
Gabriella Cilmi – Sweet About Me
The Potbelleez – Don’t Hold Back
The Veronicas – Untouched
The Veronicas – Hook Me Up

and…
Well personally, I bought 17 copies of Delta’s single – so she’s in with a shot! 

Highest Selling Album
David Campbell – The Swing Sessions 2
Delta Goodrem – Delta
Guy Sebastian – The Memphis Album
The Veronicas – Hook Me Up
Tina Arena – Songs of Love and Loss

I’m sorry? Is this the Logies? Is this the MTV AVMA’s? Highest selling? Don’t they get platinum wall-hangers for this shit? They need more awards? God no.
Probably the Veronicas. Young girls will have bought more copies of their album than old people will have bought of the other nominees combined.

Most Likely To Be Impaled On ARIA Award By Me
Gabriella Cilmi
The Potbelleez
Faker
Sam Sparro
Ben Lee

The winners will be announced soon…
Cant we stack them one on top of another?

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Written by saimagery

September 15, 2008 at 7:18 am

Posted in Music

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4 Responses

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  1. Hahaha… “GRIN-der-man”.

    antzpantz

    September 15, 2008 at 7:27 am

  2. Who the hell is Sam Sparro? I hear the name all the time but yet to hear the tunes. Ive got a feeling I dont want to hahaha

    No Snowman? hahaha

    Hall and Oates

    September 15, 2008 at 10:29 pm

  3. Antzpantz – So glad someone else remembers!

    Hall and Oates – He’s some dude who is from Sydney via LA and had one major hit here on Top 40 with Kyle and Jackie O or something. Who cares? Exactly. Also, it was awesome that ECSP got a nomination, but Snowman’s album is way better.

    Then again, an awards show that doesn’t get it right? Surely that’s never happened before…

    saimagery

    September 15, 2008 at 10:46 pm

  4. Isn’t Sparro the name of a fast food chain? They sell pizza I think.

    I’m surprised you didn’t pick Pete Murray for the Best Male Aria. Call me cynical, but I just think that whole middle-class bogan channel 9 radio friendly semi acoustic pub light rock is right up the Aria alley. It’s so bland, it has to win. After all, we are talking about an industry that considers ‘You am I’ to be alternative music.

    Expected highlights in my opinion:

    Interstate rap war coming to a head as Bliss ‘n’ Eso attack the Herd with ham baguettes filched from the food table back stage. Bernard Fanning cops a slice of tomato in the face, and becomes another casualty of the streets. Or is that ‘Tha Streetz’? I am not up with the lingo. Maybe I should hang out at the Lowes clearance outlet more often.

    Veronicas video package ‘accidentally’ substituted for grainy footage of what may be lesbian orgy with the Veronicas, Lindsay Lohan and her ‘DJ’ girlfriend (just like Kevin Federline is a ‘Dancer’). Staged PR coup in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

    The Vines turn up. They just assumed that since they released an album that they automatically got nominated. Come to think of it, why aren’t they there? It was the biggest, stalest lump of shit this year – it should have swept the pool.

    That’s all I’ve got for now. Go back to your homes or places of business.

    Deus ex Macarena

    October 1, 2008 at 10:04 am


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